May Awareness Month: EDS and my life

May Awareness Month: EDS and my life

May is national Ehlers Danlos Syndrome awareness month. EDS is a genetic connective tissue disorder that affects many different body systems. The international symbol for EDS is the zebra. EDS is a rare disorder, like a zebra is rare compared to a horse.

I struggle with a hypermobility syndrome, most likely hypermobile EDS. Most of my joints move beyond a normal range of motion, causing injury and chronic pain. I also have gastrointestinal symptoms, respiratory symptoms, and eye problems. I have made a list of some of the ways EDS affects my life. I especially struggle with severe chronic pain. I want to help raise awareness of this syndrome for better medical treatments and public understanding.

1. My bendy joints help me to move.

My joints are flexible, and I have always enjoyed stretching and yoga. It is easy for me to get up and down from the floor. I am quite comfortable sitting in lotus for meditation. My hypermobile ankles give me a good, strong kick when I swim. Swimming is one of my favorite exercises, soothing my sore body.

2. Sports injuries are a constant struggle for me.

My hypermobile ankles and feet hurt when I run. I have suffered countless sprains because of the weak connective tissue in my ankles. Sometimes I sprain while walking around during my daily life. I have undergone complicated ankle surgery that left me still in pain. I have spent years in physical therapy. But I can rock a pair of crutches! Ehlers Danlos means that some days I walk and look normal, other days I have to use crutches or a cane to get around. read more

Healing Is So Much More Than Medicine

Healing Is So Much More Than Medicine

I am on crutches. Again.

I want to walk, to dance, to run. I want to count my steps in miles run through forests of moss and mist, not in painful hops from my couch to my car.

Healing is so much more than medicine.

“The X-ray shows a distal, non-displaced avulsion fracture of the 5th metatarsal,” the medical report says. “You tore a tendon and broke your foot,” the doctor explains to me.

Breaking is so much more than medicine.

Yes, I understand the medical jargon. I have done this before. I know that the X-ray means weeks of bone healing, months of soft tissue healing. Hopefully I can at least walk soon. Crutches are never easy. I have used them through so many sprains, fractures, joint surgery. But they never become easier. I don’t want the crutches, I want to run, I silently plead with the doctor. But the X-ray, and the pain, tell the truth.

I am terrible at sitting still. Crutches make me slow down and sit still. Just be. Listen inside to who I Am. To learn that there is poetry even in the pain.

I found my way into Reiki and natural healing through my earthly body which bends and breaks easily. Joint Hypermobility Syndrome. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Connective tissue disorder, the doctors say. So many labels for my lifetime of strains, sprains, tendonitis, and fractures, the constant chronic joint pain that has accompanied me since childhood on this earth journey.

But the modern medical system can’t put a label on the spiritual parts of my aching body. How do you label a spirit stronger than its earthly body? I don’t want to break, I want to fly. Reiki helps me to find balance. The splint holds the bones in place while Reiki and prayer hold my spirit in place.

The hardest part is drowning out all the noise of the world around me, and my own inner chatter, to listen to the healing voice of the Holy Spirit. I hold my broken foot in the healing power of Reiki. I gently massage the joints, feeling the heat flow through my hands, and the healing blood flow through my veins. I hear the Holy Spirit singing healing over me. I remember the songs I have learned from the trees through the years.

Healing is so much more than medicine.

Breaking is so much more than medicine.

I was a serious runner when I was younger. I smashed 5Ks, 10Ks, and half marathons as I pressed toward the legendary 26.2 miles. I celebrated a 25 mile training run through immense pain. I ignored my body’s cry to stop. I tried to outrun the pressures of grad school. I ignored my spirit’s cry to stop. My ankle quit completely as I limped into a first aid tent, not able to complete the marathon.

I spent eight years healing from ankle injuries after that. I tried so hard to run, but there were times I couldn’t even walk. Months of crutches. Years of heartache. Breaking.

There were doctors who told me I would never run again. I did not believe them. I used Reiki to heal my spirit. I used lavender and Epsom salts to heal the physical pain of walking. I kept pressing on toward my goal.

Then last January, God sent me to a wise physical therapist. She helped me take one pain free step, then another. I worked hard on the exercises she assigned, months of baby steps back to running. Soon I ran for one minute. Then five minutes. Then a half mile. Finally the mile.

The mile! My spirit was flying. Oh how I celebrated that moment. Healing is so much more than medicine.

In my excitement I took things too fast. On New Year’s Day, eight months after that first mile, I ran a 10k. I celebrated the accomplishment, but my feet ached from the effort. That week, I stubbed my toe and my battered foot bone cracked. My will to reach my goal was yet again stronger than my joints. Mind over matter rarely works out well for me.

So now I am enjoying time in the pool. I can still walk in the support of the water, still swim, slowly. People say that swimming is the closest human movement on earth to flying. Water is spiritual. I think of all the stories of healing water in the Bible. The angels stirred the healing waters at the pool of Bethesda, the house of grace. Jesus healed a paralyzed man there. I listen inside to the Holy Spirit as I swim and move and fly. I pray for the water to heal me.

Healing. Slowly.

I listen to the wisdom of my body, the wisdom of I Am, the healing that is more than medicine. Through Reiki and the healing of the Holy Spirit, soon enough I will run. Again.

 

 

Image Credits: Heather Katsoulis, "Cora's Friend".

Happy Mother’s Day and Pain of Rejection

Happy Mother’s Day and Pain of Rejection

All holidays can be tough for people who have experienced abuse, neglect, or rejection by their own parents, the people who are supposed to love them the most. Of course our parents are only human, they will make mistakes in raising us, and in navigating the sometimes strange tides of adult child to parent relationship. Neither family relationships, nor life itself, rarely resemble the idyllic world of a Hallmark movie. But there are some parents who commit true evil toward their children. Remembering the rejection of a mother can be particularly painful on the Mother’s Day holiday.

My own family was filled with chaos and secrets as I grew up. My father had a violent temper, and made liberal use of “spare the rod, spoil the child,” in order to beat (“grow”) us into godliness. My mother supported him and stood silently by, although she rarely raised her own hand to us.

There were also good times, tender conversations with my mother, and contemplative fishing trips with my father. These joyful waters never calmed completely, though, as the constant threat of another storm always loomed on the horizon. Even as a young child, my parents would argue with me and put me down over my liberal ideas of environmentalism, collectivism, feminism, and oneness. I was raised strictly evangelical fundamental, but my spirit rebelled against this from birth. At times I overrode my heart and tried my hardest to use fundie talk, and convert all my friends to Christianity, to earn my parent’s admiration. Even then, I felt like I never fit into my family, and, deep in my heart, I often questioned my parent’s love for me.

Many years later, after a painful excommunication by my church (my safety network of friends), unemployed, despite my master’s degree, because of a crap economy, homeless after exhausting all of my savings and credit cards, with a helpless toddler in my arms, my husband and I went back to my parents, asking for help. They said we were headed to hell for our “new age” views, we were in league with the devil, and God was judging us. After another religious argument they kicked us out the door and said they never wanted to speak to us again.

My tears fell.

My tears fell as Christian love died.

My tears fell as parental love died.

The pain of rejection was far worse than the pain of homelessness and the fear of the future. But the Holy Spirit spoke tender words to me in her healing grace. YHWH guided us to Minnesota in his wisdom. I found work and we have begun to rebuild our life.

The pain and sadness still linger, especially as so many people today on Mother’s Day are talking about the joy of their mother and how mothers forever love the children they carried, no matter what. Unfortunately, this is not always true. Today I am just finding joy in being a mother to my own son, and I know that, no matter where his life journey takes him, I will always love him.

If you, friend, are struggling today with memories of a mother’s rejection, or abuse, I feel your pain. I am sending healing Reiki out into the world to help soothe these wounds. Feel and acknowledge the pain, but embrace Life. Feel free to share your story in the comments, or contact me for a healing appointment.

Find joy in the journey.

Happy Mother’s Day.

The Journey of Holy Spirit Reiki

The Journey of Holy Spirit Reiki

Reiki is a journey.

Reiki is a healing practice, but Reiki is also a lifestyle change. Reiki is an invitation into a healing dance with the Divine, a gentle tango with the Holy Spirit leading each step.

I so often see Reiki advertised as a quick solution to pain, like taking an aspirin, or, even worse, as a weight-loss method. Reiki is not a flippant “New Age” healing modality. Reiki is a powerful divine energy, the ancient practice of the laying on of hands. I believe Yeshua used Reiki as he healed the masses of people. But he didn’t just give them a quick fix; he often preached about the hard road, the lonely road, the trials to enter the kingdom. Reiki brings healing, yes, but Reiki also brings spiritual responsibility.

A Reiki session is just the beginning of the divine journey. If you contact me for a session, I will lead you into the dance with the Holy Spirit and leave you in her loving embrace. Your earthly cares and pain will melt away as you learn to flow in the healing dance.

I am a Reiki master, so I have followed this path for a long time. As a born healer, the Holy Spirit taught me this dance from a young age. As a child, I explored the world in wonder, learning secrets from the buzzing of the bees and the whispering of the trees. I have also felt the pain of others from a young age. I am an empath with a heart wide open to experiencing the pain of others while I lead them on their own path. I also learn new things from my Reiki clients and friends every day. The journey is eternal.

I believe that YHWH created us with a deep need for each other. This is not a popular idea in our individualistic, ego-driven Western culture. Compassion, sacrifice, and empathy bind us together. That is the power of Reiki healing, the Holy Spirit Reiki journey. Competition and ego drive us apart. When Reiki is sold under the spell of this energy, the result is dangerous. There are many people who tell stories of harm from negative Reiki energy. My heart cries for those wounded souls.

I invite you, friends and strangers alike, reading this blog to join me on the healing journey of Holy Spirit Reiki. It is a mystical, wonderful path, full of joy and sometimes heartache. But the end is true healing and true enlightenment.

Free From Capture: Yeshua and the Woman Caught in Adultery

Used freely, courtesy of duchesssa on stock.xchng
Used freely, courtesy of duchesssa on stock.xchng

She felt the cold air rush in on her face and graze her naked skin. She looked at her partner next to her in the bed, wicked smile starting across his lips. “You’re going to get it now, whore,” he whispered. She stared into his dark eyes, looking for a sign of humanity, a sign of life. She only saw blackness, and demons.

She had given him everything he asked, and she hadn’t even demanded a very high price. She hated the rough treatment, the constant pain in her body and mind. She felt all their glances on the street. They all knew that she was a dirty woman.

Her parents had sold her into prostitution when she was only ten years old. The midwives gave her the herbs and the treatments. All in secret. She cried with each miscarriage, each life cut short by cruel circumstance.

But then the miracle happened. The herbs didn’t take and, at age sixteen, she gave birth to her beloved daughter, the light of her life. She hid away her child, protecting her from the judgment of society and the religious leaders.

By day she shared bread and fish with her daughter, and the rare treat of an apple or some grapes. They liked to climb trees and play hide-and-seek in the warm morning sun, when people assumed her husband was busy studying Torah. She lived her own lost childhood with her daughter. A kind man knew their secret and had built them a shelter. She laid her daughter to bed there at night, and breathed a prayer of protection over her. Then she sneaked out to earn their living.

This was the only way she knew to buy a better life for her daughter. Society gave some  protection for widows, but she was only a whore with a child, never married, an illegitimate family. She knew that nobody wanted to help, so she had to fight, the only way she knew how. There were plenty of men ready to oblige.

She had continued in this life of hell for twelve years. The child was almost old enough to marry now, and, hopefully she could find a family with a son who would understand. She only had to turn a few more tricks, keep up the secret a little longer.

She knew she shouldn’t have trusted him when she saw him. He was a religious leader, a young man from the learned class. But he was handsome, and, more importantly, he had money. Lots of money. He asked her to do the deed in the morning. She had thought it unusual in daylight where people could see, but he assured her that his parents would not be home.

The sheets were soft white and the blankets rich purple. She imagined herself a queen dressed all in palace purple as she allowed him to come into her. She closed her eyes and moaned a little to please him while she pictured her daughter, a new happy bride in a happy house, sunshine filling the windows and a flourishing olive grove growing in the field. The dream of abundance swallowed up her pain.

But the icy fingers of the wind ripped her dream into shreds. The older man stood in the door, his religious robes dark against the morning sun. She tucked her head and shivered underneath the sheets. She did not cry; she had lost all of her tears when her parents abandoned her. She only thought of her daughter.

The young religious leader rose from the bed and calmly put on his clothes. “You can take her now. Do with her as you please. We’ll take care of these two trouble-makers today.”

The older religious leader came to the bed and grabbed her from the sheets. He threw her on the floor and threw her clothes on top of her. “Get dressed,” he sneered. “You know what we are going to do to you.”

The two men dragged her out of the house and down the street. They brought her to the Temple. She saw a young man teaching in the center. She had seen him somewhere before. There was a crowd whispering and talking around him. She marveled as she saw him answer a young man’s question and touch his hand. What kind of religious leader was this?

The men whisked her through the crowd and threw her at the teacher’s feet. The crowd fell silent. “We found this woman in the middle of adultery!” they proclaimed triumphantly. “Moses said in the Law to stone these kind of women. What do you say?”

The woman stared into the man’s face. He had kind eyes, a compassion she had never seen from any man. He whispered into her ear, “Don’t be afraid, I know what they’ve done to you.” He looked at the men who had dragged her in, and she saw his eyes turn to thunder.

“Well, what do you say, Yeshua?” The young religious leader sneered the name and tapped his foot impatiently. He bent down and picked up a stone from the ground. “We don’t have all day.”

The woman whispered “Are you Yeshua? The great healer?” She had heard all the stories. Hope filled her heart.

Yeshua bent down and wrote her name on the ground. He wrote the name of her daughter.

He stood up and proclaimed, “He who is without sin, throw the first stone.” The young religious leader grimaced and tightened his grip on the stone.

Yeshua bent down and wrote another name. The older man touched the young religious leader’s hand. “Let it go,” he whispered. Yeshua continued to write, name after name, sin after sin, of all of the religious leaders.

The young man and the old man turned and walked away, followed by all of the religious leaders and most of the crowd. The woman kept staring into Yeshua’s face. A dove made a mournful coo in the still morning air. What was happening?

Yeshua straightened up and looked around. “Are you the only one left? No one condemns you?”

“No, Master,” she whispered.

“Then neither do I. I know you were forced into what they call sin, but you are free from the bondage today. I have arranged for one of my disciples to care for you and your daughter. The Father loves you and has chosen you for this moment. You will be honored in heaven for your bravery.”

The woman knelt at the feet of the Master and cried.

John 8:1-11

Meditation to Clear Negative Reiki

Picture used freely, courtesy of miamiamia on stock.xchng
Picture used freely, courtesy of miamiamia on stock.xchng

The Negative Side of Reiki

I often talk about the power of Love and the connection with the universal oneness that a Reiki session can facilitate. Most Reiki practitioners say that Reiki is a pure healing energy and cannot produce any harm.

But some people have experienced negative and even life-threatening side effects from Reiki treatments. Why? The answer is found in the energy and connection of the Reiki practitioner. The biggest disrupter of pure energy is greed. Money. The lust for power, or even the fear of not having enough. Stay far away from any practitioner of Reiki or any form of healing who is all about the money or shows signs of greed.

Holy Spirit Reiki is energy healing, the same healing practiced by religious mystics, even Yeshua himself. Dr. Usui codified the healing and added some symbols to help his students focus and grasp his teaching. These symbols are helpful on the journey, but not necessary. Some Reiki practitioners have not developed their intuitive connection to YHWH, the Great Spirit, and they use the symbols as a substitute for connection. Many of these people have simply used their money to buy Reiki classes and certifications, but they do not understand the holy healing which they claim to hold. This is not great.

You must be very careful when allowing anyone to lay hands on you and practice Reiki and any other form or energy healing. The chakras and pathways of your spirit body are delicate and sensitive to both positive and negative energy. If you have ever walked into a crowded room or public place, such as a shopping mall, and felt uneasy, light-headed, short of breath, or just out-of-place, you have felt the disruption of your energy field. All of these people holding their own mixtures of light and darkness, love and greed, can create a perilous energy field, especially for the spiritually sensitive. The same is even more true when paying a visit to an individual energy healer. Be alert and intuitive to what they are offering, and do not open yourself up to anyone with negative energy.

Worse than misinformed or greedy practitioners are people who purposely practice negative energy work, otherwise known as “psychic attacks.” This is all too common, and I think most if not all of us have experienced this and need to clear these things from our energy bodies, our “psyches.” Psychic attacks happen through jealousy, competition, ill will. One of the most grievous forms is child or spousal abuse, being attacked by your family to whom you have given part of your heart or body.

If you have been a victim of psychic attacks or negative energy healing, it can leave long-lasting pain in your body and emotions. I would like to lead you in a healing meditation to recover from this. Use this meditation as often as you like, and don’t hesitate to call me for a personal session for deeper healing from the Holy Spirit. If you are struggling financially, just contact me. I will not turn anyone away, and I share freely what I have been given from Spirit.

Psychic Attack Meditation

Get into a comfortable place, sitting or laying down. Close your eyes.

Imagine all your hurt and pain as gray clouds in your mind. Breath deeply and slowly, letting your stomach rise and your shoulders fall down peacefully on your back.

Imagine the clouds turning white and fluffy. If this does not happen immediately, let the clouds rain. Hear the lightning and thunder. Do not be afraid of the storm. It will bring refreshment and clarity. Imagine the rain as sparkling crystal, each drop pregnant with healing.

Sit with the storm for as long as it takes to allow the negative energy to dissipate with the rain. Eventually you will see the thunder leave, the rain slow down, and the clouds start to lighten and turn to white.

Watch the clouds with the imagination of a child. What do you see? A sheep? A mushroom? Let the shapes float over and delight you. Feel the light breeze around you, and let your body sink into a field of cool, green grass. Imagine the Great Spirit, the Great Shepherd cradling you as a lost lamb in his arms, welcoming you home to the place of peace. You have everything you need. You feel overwhelming love and peace.

Now you notice a sparkling pool of crystal blue water, surrounded by shimmering trees. Look at your reflection in the pool. See yourself as a child of the universe, a being of light, free from the darkness of pain. Let the memories float over you. Memories of this world, or memories of heaven. You have been there before. You have seen this place in your dreams.

Sit by the pool for a time. Let the waters speak to you. Let the grass and the trees speak to you. Let them sing a song of healing over you, removing all the pain and the hurts and the negative energy that the world and people have done to you. Rest a time in the healing.

Slowly leave this magical place of warmth and love. Bring your consciousness back into your present world, your present moment. Gently open your eyes. Carry the healing with you and trust your intuition, your inner child to guide you forward.

Come back to this place as often as you can.

Namaste.

Can Pain Be My Medicine?

pain as medicine
Photo by kaniths, used freely on stock.xchng

Is pain something to be avoided at all costs? Or can pain be my friend, my teacher, my companion on the spiritual journey?

Where does pain come from? This is a deep question that neither doctors nor philosophers can adequately answer. If I cut my finger or place my hand on a hot iron, my nerves fire lightning-speed, and my brain tells my muscles to withdraw. This is a natural protective response in our physical bodies to protect us from physical harm. Scientists call it the sympathetic nervous system.

But what about spiritual pain? How can we protect our spirit-bodies from injury? Intuition is key here. If you have a “gut feeling” about something, you should always follow that instinct. As a matter of fact, scientists say that the third nervous system of our physical bodies, called the enteric nervous system, is housed in our digestive system. Our guts can literally “think” for themselves, even if completely cut off from the brain. Our enteric nervous system holds most of our serotonin and dopamine receptors, our emotional center, and the enteric nervous system partners with the brain to process these emotions. We call this our “heart” feelings or “butterflies in our stomach.” And, again, butterflies are very spiritual. There are many connections here. Shamans and tribal people have often referred to the stomach as the origin of pain and the origin of healing, the seat of understanding.

Each person’s pain is unique, and I believe that all pain is a mixture of the physical, emotional, and spiritual. We cannot separate these parts of our being. If you fall down and break your ankle,your body has a marvelous power to mend the bones back together, but your spirit tends to hold the memory of that traumatic event in that joint. I struggle a lot with ankle pain, but I am learning to let go. I used to be a long-distance runner, something that I really enjoyed doing. When I developed severe tendonitis in my ankle, and could no longer run, I also suffered the emotional injury of losing an activity that I loved. In addition, I had wrapped part of my identity around being thin and “fit,” and my spirit body had experienced the pain of me rejecting my true self for a cultural ideal. There are many layers of pain, and unraveling all of this has taken me years of work, and is still a journey.

The pain is my teacher and guide to help me understand where I have strayed from my deepest self. For another example, when I was studying at the conservatory as a classical clarinetist, I developed severe, intractable pain in my arms and back. Some days I could hardly walk or lift anything or even get out of bed. It got so bad that I was forced to put down my instrument completely for a period of time.

But where did all this pain come from? Did I simply practice too much? Not really. The pain started out as an emotion. I beat myself up in the practice room over every little mistake, punishing myself for every imperfection in my last lesson or recital. My spirit shriveled under my self-abuse, and under the harsh words of my teachers, who themselves struggled with ego and emotional pain. The result eventually became physical pain in my body.

The pain was my wake-up call. The pain was my medicine. The pain forced me to look at my emotions and my beat-up spirit body. In the forced break from my instrument, I slowly learned the importance of refuge, rest, and nurturing of my spiritual self.

I am still a healer on a healing journey for myself. Sometimes when I do a Reiki session with another person, I feel their pain in my own body. My spirit connects with their spirit so deeply that I join them, if only briefly, on their spiritual journey. The pain is the guide to the healing. We are called to help bear one another’s burdens, and this pain is medicine, too.

If you are struggling with pain anywhere in your body or psyche today, listen to the pain. Welcome the pain as a guide and companion for your journey. Don’t just flush it away with another pill and ignore it (although there is certainly a time and a place for medicine). What is your spirit trying to communicate to your physical body? What memory do you need to process and release? What is causing tension and friction in your life, and how can you release that?

Breathe deeply, drink in the new day, and embrace your pain so that you can live in true healing.

Namaste, my friends.

The Soul of the Tree

The Soul of the Tree

Spring is my favorite season. I enjoy feeling the wind tickling my leaves and the sun warming my branches. I enjoy watching the flowers popping up around my roots, adding their blues, yellows, purples to the newly-green grass, like a bunch of crayons in a child’s world. Spring is innocent and new. Spring is a child.

Summer is nice, too. I especially like the summer evenings, a cool blanket of darkness chasing away the thick heat. I dream of the starry constellations carrying me away to the realm of mystery and spirit, timelessness, peace. I especially like when the owls light on my branches, their deep voices echoing the wisdom of time past and future. I have never experienced the ocean, but I have known whispers from the coastal trees, and I imagine the owls and the whales singing the same haunting songs calling for the harmony and healing on earth.

Fall is the season of color and change before the rest. As a young tree, I feared fall. I was afraid to lose my beautiful leaves and stand naked before the world. As I grew older, I learned that my leaves are only the outward part of me, providing me energy and helping me to grow, but my outside is not me.

Winter is a time of rest and rebirth. I have experienced over 100 winters on earth, as the humans measure it, but the trees measure time in cycles of growth and rest, birth, and death, and rebirth. Winter brings snow and dark and the contemplation of silence. Once in a while, I wake out of my winter revelry as a squirrel brushes my trunk with its bushy tail, or scampers up my bark in search of a place to hide his treasure. Mostly I sleep and dream.

I often dream of my young days, only a seedling. I was born in the spring. I grew up through the seasons in a forest, surrounded by my elders. I most loved listening to the stories of the pines, who never lost their leaves, and welcomed the quiet of winter. They were the prophets and listeners and told us young ones about the coming days in which the forest would be no more. They told us not to worry, though, that the ancient cycles always bring balance, and that if we someday found ourselves as a sacrifice for modernity, our souls would make the journey back to the Creator and source.

I grew up feeling the struggles of all the trees. We are connected in the life circle of earth. I feel their fear and cries as the loggers come, extinguishing our life-spark in their appetite. Sometimes they use our wood for their constructions and communications, sometimes they clear us out of the way for their farms or their cities.

Today, on a sultry summer morning, I felt the spray on my trunk, a garish red x. The building and parking lot had replaced my friends and elders long ago. Now the building needed new paint, and my branches stood in the way. I knew this would be my last starry summer night, my last time enjoying the wind in my branches. During the afternoon, a storm blew through, driving rain like teardrops from the heavens. I am sad.

There are still trees around me, older than me. I feel their whispers, “Do not be afraid on the journey. Your soul is free.”

Photo used freely, courtesy of humusak2 on stock.xchng

Choose Life that You May Live

healing tree of life
Photo used freely, courtesy of Krappweis on stock.xchng

The beginning of healing is realizing that I am one with all. All other people. All the universe. I can never be truly well if the weakest around me is suffering. Every pain of the other is my own.

The Tree mourns every leaf that falls. So many have foolishly amputated themselves from the Tree of Life. They trade in their spiritual destinies for some temporal glitter. They can no longer drink of the deep roots buried in the River of Life. They prance and flaunt their idols, so self-assured in their minuscule “accomplishments” while they are dying of spiritual dehydration. This is the source of so much dis-ease in our world. This sickness is an epidemic in Western society, which prides itself on “science” and “knowledge.”

Every time I judge another because I misunderstand their point of view, I sever part of myself from the Tree. Every time I bash someone, or shrink away from them because they look different from me, I weaken my connection to Life. Every time I use a personal place of power to harm another, whether that power is bestowed on me by my job, or my training, or the color of my skin, or the amount in my pocket book, I spit on the Tree which sustains me.

I hold all these pains of the world in my body. The Good Samaritan understood this principle, so he could never pass by another in need. How much good it would do us to learn the same. Instead of competing and biting others on my way to the top, and dancing on the misfortune of another, I am wise to learn the way of peace and celebration. Celebrate another as a part of myself and recognize the gifts that each one brings to my world. Each created being is a wonderful handiwork, a leaf, a myriad of patterned colors.

If I continually choose the way of selfishness and pride, I will lose all my connection to the tree and I will become but a brown death covered by the equalizer of white snow. Purity to wash away the pain of my memory. Leaves die and fall at will, but the tree goes on. The Source mourns the loss of life, but this loss is self-made and self-chosen. The weak, the meek, the humble-hearted, will go on to weave a rich tapestry from the loss.

Choose life that you may live.

Broken Glasses, Body Memories

broken glasses
Photo used freely, courtesy of jfg on stock.xchng

Healing is a journey taken deep within. Your body holds the memories of all the pains and injustices felt throughout your life. Pain can be covered up by a pill or bandage, but to get rid of pain completely, you must do the hard work of processing and forgiving traumas.

Sometimes the healer needs healing. This is the case in my own life. Although I do Reiki over others, I need its power for myself as well. Today on the 4th of July, I woke up with a swollen, droopy, teary eye. It is painful, but more annoying than harmful. Still, my eye is trying to tell me something. I placed a cold compress to ease the pain, and I sat down to meditate. I thought back to last year on the 4th of July.

The fireworks burst over my friend’s house, high above the Michigan trees, adding to the sizzle of the hottest summer on record. I sat on the steps of the camper trailer in his yard, my temporary home with my husband and young son. At least I felt grateful to have a bed and a shelter from the elements.

But, to make matters worse, I wore a pair of broken glasses. Earlier that week, I had set my glasses on top of my car while I put on my sunglasses, and then forgotten about them. A half hour later, I arrived at my destination.  I looked in my car to take off my sunglasses, and change back into my regular glasses, but, to my horror, I could not find the glasses. I panicked. To say that I am blind as a bat is insulting to the bat. I am sorely dependent upon my glasses.

I turned my car around and drove back to my friend’s house, slowly, scouring the road for any sign of optical life. I found the glasses laying in their case in the middle of the road, cars going by on both sides. I parked my car and waited for the traffic to clear. I nabbed my specs, still nestled in their cracked case, and took them back to my car. Hands shaking, I opened the case.

The glasses lay with frame twisted and mangled. I moaned to my husband, “What am I going to do?”

He replied, “Look closer.”

In the middle of the carnage, a miracle. God only knows how many times cars had run over the glasses, yet the lenses stayed completely intact. Not a scratch. God had worked a small miracle for me. It is amazing that with all of the world problems occupying his time, God still sent an angel to watch over my glasses.

I pieced the frame back together, and I actually formed a cool design with the tape. Still, I mourned because I had no money for an eye exam or new glasses. I know that sounds pitiful and ungrateful, but it felt like the last straw in a series of misfortunes. I was also hobbling around on crutches at this point with a severely sprained, maybe broken, ankle and no insurance to see a doctor.  Still, again, God  had supplied those crutches.

I felt all alone in the world.  My family and most of my friends had disowned me simply because they believed in a hateful church doctrine with which I disagreed. They had thrown the gambit, and I had chosen to pursue the path of Love and the universe. Did anyone care about my struggles?

Months went by and things slowly got better for me and my little family. We moved to Minnesota and found work, and I bought new glasses. Through Reiki, time, and the innate healing powers of my own body, my ankle healed. Small miracles.

Yet, my body holds these painful memories. With meditation, Reiki, and prayer, I am learning to let go and make room for true healing.

If you are hurting today, listen to the message of your body. Meditate on the root of your pain, large or small. Let your muscles relax, and release those memories to the Universe. Forgive all the wrongs you have experienced. Forgiveness does not make the actions right or just, it only releases the injustice to the hands of karma and the great Judge.

Let go and let the healing flow!

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